Applying to business school is so easy.
Monday, January 01, 2007
A really great way to lose a shitload of sleep is to put your business school applications off to the last minute. I haven't posted in about a month and a half because I needed to eliminate all forms of distraction and focus on applying.
Distractions successfully eliminated:
Distractions not successfully eliminated: everything else.
In a last minute change of plans, I scratched Chicago off the list of schools I will apply to and added Michigan instead. I learned that if you actually read about the schools, they are indeed different. I'm pretty happy with my list of schools and I've now calculated my chances of getting in to one of them at 2.63%. (I'm not delusional about my candidacy.)
I have learned some really important lessons during this whole process, and I know you're creaming your pants to hear them, so here you go. I'm still not done yet, I only have the Harvard application done, but I'm so god damn sick of my essays that I really can't work on them anymore.
1. You will get so god damn sick of your essays.
Maybe it's because I decided to write all 94 of my essays in the span of about 11 days, but at this point I would rather drink a cup of type 6 HPV than keep editing these things. See, if you're smart and do your essays months in advance, you can get other schmucks to read and edit them for you. But, if you're a Pulitzer Prize winning writing god, like myself, everyone you know is a shitty writer compared to you, so you will have to do all your own editing and it sucks nuts. To tell you the truth, I'm not even really reading my essays anymore because I know what they say, and I'm probably missing the fact that I used about 5 racial slurs on average in each prompt.
2. Make sure the undergraduate school you went to isn't retarded.
Some schools make you hand type all your college grades into an Excel sheet and submit them that way. Others want actual transcripts straight from your school. That's fine, but apparently my school's registrar hires their employees through a Down Syndrome outreach program, so needless to say it was quite a trial getting some official transcripts. When I finally did get them, it looked like they had been chewed on, so I don't know.
3. You suck at life.
Face it, you're pretty unremarkable. I know this because if you really are one of those b-school applicants who owns 3 companies and did 17 years of charity work in Somalia, you probably could give a shit what some assfaced blogger has to say about applying to business school. To the rest of us normal people, it's kind of hand to reword your extra-curricular activities and awards/recognition into stuff that doesn't make you sound like a piece of shit. I really tried, but the "Coke Snorting Club" and "Beer Bash '01: Best Impression of Christopher Reeve" just don't sound good when you put them down on paper. I'm convinced that people who have a nice fat list of stuff are either lying or unemployed, so I'm hoping that those massive blank spaces on my application won't hurt me too much.
4. If studying makes you horny, then the business school application process is like spanish fly.
That's pretty self explanatory (not really).
Stay tuned for updates on my status at each school, but it's gonna be boring to watch me get dinged everywhere.
Oh, and to AkilKalel: You are fucked. You can't change the GMAT keyboards to Dvorak. You have to do it in QWERTY. Actually, though, if you're a strong writer, you should have more than enough time and typing slow won't really hurt you.
posted by mbahunt @ 11:18 PM,
