mbahunt

Oh, sweet irony.

The main motivator of the desire to go to business school is usually either because you either hate your job and you can't wait to move up or you hate you job and need to do the furthest thing from it. An MBA is a funny thing, because it doesn't validate any skill whatsoever. You haven't been raised to the level of someone who is necessarily qualified to do something. You're not certified to achieve a new goal. Hell, you may wery well be doing something similar to what you did before you had that MBA. Which is why MBAs are really ironic.

One of the largest demographic that make up MBA applicants are consultants. One of the most prevalent post-MBA jobs is consulting. Sure, they may vary from IT consulting to management consulting to marketing consulting to whatever consulting, but consulting is still consulting.

Working for one of the "Big 4" consulting firms (if they even use that term anymore), I really despise consulting. If I am given the opportunity to get my MBA, I want to be a consultant when I have completed my studies. I'm not really sure what kind of dumb shut logic applies here, but the most shocking part is the fact that it's taken me so long to realize the irony of my choices in life.

I became a consultant because I really didn't know what I wanted to do. I want to get my MBA because I probably don't want to be a consultant for the rest of my life. I want to do consulting after I get my MBA because you can make some serious bank and get paid for not really knowing anything.

Man, what a waste of a life I am.

posted by mbahunt @ 10:58 PM, ,

There is no depth to my shallowness.

It's going to take me an extraordinary amount of will power for me not to apply to Stanford. I really want to apply. It is considered one of the best (the best, by some) schools in the world. It has an amazing program in arguably one of the most scenic campuses with undoubtedly the best weather. With grades, competition and class ranking nearly non-existant, Stanford has all of the perks with little of the downfall that can permeate other top schools.

The problem is that I would fit in at Stanford like Mel Gibson at a Shabbat dinner. I'm so east-coast conservative, it isn't even funny, and Stanford is so not. One of the descriptions that some MBA applications consultant gave Stanford was, "Students spend a couple years passing the hookah around and then get paid Two Big Ones for offering their naïve opinions to ignorant business owners." That annoys me. I get the image of wanna-be, future CEO hippies smoking pot and talking about how big corporations are evil and that there are no ethics nowadays. Seriously, if you wanted to save the world, you shouldn't be chasing after your MBA.

(On a side note, it has been shown that Wal-Mart, the big, bad, evil corporation who likes to eat babies and kill families actually creates 100 jobs for every 50 it destroys and also may be singlehandedly keeping inflation in check in the U.S.)

The fact of the matter is that, in my uneducated and unwarranted first look, I think that Stanford and I are a terrible match. I think business school should be fast-paced, cut-throat
(to a point) and high-impact. Something about the laid-back California mentality doesn't jive well with getting an MBA. However, in the end, it won't matter. I will probably apply to Stanford anyways. Why?

I am a brand name whore.

I see you with your foot in the stirrup, ready to mount that high horse of yours to tell me that the point of business school is to find a perfect match for you. No, it isn't. The purpose of business school is to get a brand name on your resume so you can wow headhunters and network with others who have that brand name on their resumes too. Perhaps, I'm simplifying here, but I think you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't think that the name on your diploma makes a difference. Sure, Harvard vs. Buttfuck State College will have a significant difference, but I also think Harvard vs. Darden or even Harvard vs. Tuck can make a difference too. Yes, yes, I know that anyone who knows anything knows that Harvard, Darden and Tuck are all upper-echelon schools. Nonetheless, there's a reason that even though a Lexus and a Toyota are both good cars, people prefer one to the other.

When it comes down to it, I'll probably end up applying to Stanford, and they'll probably deny me due to our terribly outstanding differences, but my GMAT score should garner me at least a couple of look-overs before they burn my application.

posted by mbahunt @ 12:05 AM, ,

Step 2 of 43

Now that the GMAT is over and done, it's time to focus on applying to school. I've intentionally neglected doing any research on schools because I honestly didn't know how I would score, and my decision to apply to business school weighed heavily on how I did on the GMAT. For those of you who are all about the Reading Comprehension section, don't automatically infer from the above that I think the GMAT is the do-or-die for getting into school. However, when you have an below average GPA with an average degree from an average school with below average years of average job experience, I feel that a fat GMAT score can greatly help your case.

When I say average, I mean average in a business school applicant sort of sense. I managed to drink work my ass off to a 3.3 GPA at a top 15 American University (it was top 7 when I got in, damnit, and that's all that matters) in one of the more difficult engineering disciplines. Yes, I think there are varying levels of difficulty of engineering. I've spent a couple years grinding it out at a Big 4 consulting firm, so as you can see, I fit nicely into the mold of your typical candidate.

Since I didn't really think about where I want to apply, I picked 5 (not so) random schools to sent my scores to from the list, and now I have to figure out where I'm actually applying. The long list goes like this (in no particular order):

1. Harvard
2. Penn
3. Northwestern
4. MIT
5. Chicago
6. Dartmouth
7. Duke I'm no rapist.
8. Columbia
9. Cornell
10. Michigan

"Oh my god!" you're thinking. "Those are the same exact schools I'm applying to as well!!!" Pipe down, Chachi. You're not the only one who can copy/paste the US News rankings of the best business schools.

I realize that I should be thinking more about things such as what I want to study and what I want to do with my life, but I'd rather concern myself with, what gets the most "oooohhh" factor when I say my degree by name.

In addition, I would really like to join the ranks of stuffy, old, white men with flashy MBA schools on their resumes. I think I'd look pretty hot with a monocle and a pocketwatch with a picture of a train on it. Though, if I'm really going for that, I should probably cross off about 7 of those more of those schools and really focus on achieving that goal.

posted by mbahunt @ 7:42 PM, ,

Holy shit!

760 (99th percentile)! 51Q (99), 41V (93)!

Pardon me while I piss myself again. I honestly didn't think I'd do that well! I actually felt extremely lukewarm as I took the test and kept lowering my expectations for what I thought an acceptible score was as I went on. When the numbers came up at the end, I may have urinated a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit though.

I just some massive, annoying brain dump post over here at the TestMagic forums. I'm sure I'll get around to incorporating a lot of that information here, but for now, I'm going to bask in the glow of unjustified, self-realized arrogance.

posted by mbahunt @ 12:10 AM, ,

T-minus 1 Hour

Down to my final hour of preparation before the exam... I wanted to wake up nice and early today, make myself a hearty breakfast of eggs and bacon, head to the gym and do a light workout, then take my time and eat a nice healthy lunch somewhere nice to relax before heading to the exam site.

Then I realized that all of the above are so far from my ordinary routine, that it might not be such a good idea to switch things up the day of the test. Instead, I slept in, watched TV and then had a nice fatty sandwich from Arby's. There, that's more like it.

I took one final GMAT practice exam last night and did fairly well on it. The problem was that I struggled a lot during the math and thought I did terribly. The scores posted proved otherwise. I'm convinced that the GMATPrep software is just fucking with me and changed a lot of my wrong answers to right answers to make me feel good about myself. I listed all of the practice tests I took below and what I got on them.

GMATPrep Test 1: Not good.
Kaplan CAT Test 1: 40Q, 30V, 580
Kaplan CAT Test 2: 50Q, 36V, 660
Kaplan Book Test: 49Q, 44V, 690
Kaplan CAT Test 3: 50Q, 35V, 640
GMATPret Test 2: 49Q, 44V, 760

Notice I received the same scaled scores on the Kap CAT 2 and the GMATPret CAT 2, but how different the final scores are... It's true. Kaplan wants you to feel inadequate and in need of their services. Hey Kaplan, suck it!

It will be interesting to see, though, because I did have a few friends shell out the thousand dollars to take the Kaplan course, and I was too cocky to think I needed one. If I get slammed today, it will prove my theory terribly wrong.

Well, I have to leave for the testing center in 20 minutes, so I better quit wasting time and watch some more TV. Here goes nothing...

posted by mbahunt @ 12:00 PM, ,

Bah, already Sunday?

2 days left. I'm starting to get nervous shit my pants about this Tuesday.

I took 2 more practice tests, and I have about 2 or 3 more to go. Under normal circumstances, the results would look promising, but not overwhelmingly optimistic. However, I have drastically low standards, and the fact that I actually completed the test and didn't fall into an epileptic seizure out of sheer boredom is quite the accomplishment.

Kaplan Book Test: 49Q, 44V, 690
Kaplan CAT Test 3: 50Q, 35V, 640

So, I'm finding that the passages on the Kaplan CAT practice tests are ridiculously hard. The passages in the Official Guide have central topics such as, "Johnny Goes to School" or "How to Make a Peanut Butter Sammich." The passages in the Kaplan CAT have central topics such as "Political Implications of Freud's Dream Interpretations" or "Transition of Sublime from Literature to Art."

Let me quote you a simple sentence:
His analysis of that dream reveals a political wish to free himself from the fate of the Jews, disguised as a desire to "step into the minister's shoes," where he could eliminate his Jewish rivals and grant himself his analysis of the dream, Freud introduced the promotion to a professorship.
What the fuck? Is that even a complete sentence? I read the entire passage, realized that I was bleeding from the anus, went and got a glass of water (to both moisten my palette and wash said anus), then returned to the passage and still had no better understanding of it. I've come to the conclusion that I never learned to read, which may prove to be devastating to my exam experience.

posted by mbahunt @ 12:44 AM, ,

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